Abusive relationships can play a dangerous part in our work relations and particular in a team environment.
How do you deal with a bad apple in the cart i.e. a difficult member in a team that seems to be focussed on ruining your image, your reputation, and your good will?
One of the most common challenges for leaders during their career is a relationship breakdown with someone in the workplace. Someone who has influence on a lot of others.
Consider when you may have sensed a conflict with another person perhaps even senior to you, or a disconnect with a colleague or team member, where you have questioned why you see things so differently.
If this is not dealt with quickly and sensitively it can have a ricochet effect on your own personal wellbeing and the business itself, none of which is healthy.
“The answer is not to try and fix the other person“
The answer is NOT to try and fix the other person. The answer however is to look at yourself and rationalise what is going on. In these situations, if you want to create a change, that change has to start with YOU.
There is nothing pleasant about this process, it can hurt and you may need to demonstrate some vulnerability, but you will learn more about human behaviour than ever before, if you follow a different process other than to blame the other person.
Ultimately if you want someone else to change their behaviour the critical thing to do first is to look at what you’re doing and look at how you can do that differently using an alternative framework. So ask yourself:
- What are your expectations? Do you think that people get motivated by doing things in the same way as you do? Wrong! They probably do not, so how can you get engagement from them?
- What is your tone of voice and what sort of language are you using? How is that coming across to the receiver? Have you ever asked anyone?
- How are you feeling about the person you are communicating to at the time? What difference would it make if you felt positive about the person or if you felt negative about him/ her?
“build a better sense of connection and trust”
These are just 3 important questions to ask yourself in this situation. Considering these questions and digging deep and honestly, will generally help you build a better sense of connection and trust – which is the foundation of any strong relationship either at work or at home.
If you are currently trying to navigate a difficult relationship with someone in your workplace make sure you obtain the core learnings around this subject, you may be surprised at how quickly you can make the difference.
Deborah Russell coaches women and men through transitions and life changes. “I strive to achieve fulfilment and harmony both at work and at home, believing passionately that they go hand in hand together.
Coaching, as well as Teaching is my real passion for people – learn more from my website:-https://www.deborahrussellcoaching.com/ or ask for a fee strategy call by contacting me on: deborah@deborahrussellcoaching.com
